Who says high school friends won’t last?

Almost two years ago, when my friends and I were finally getting ready to go our separate ways off to college, we hugged and promised each other nothing would change.

We were wrong; everything changed.

We all got so busy so fast, becoming involved in different activities at our schools that our small hometown could never offer us. The work became harder and more time consuming. While we weren’t forgetting about our friends back home, we were all frantically trying to make new ones at school to ensure a good four years at college. We all had to try and figure out how to balance a social life, school work, clubs and activities, while also sleeping a few hours at night.

Eventually, it caught up with us and it became harder to make time for each other to talk and catch up. As time went on, we adjusted to our new lives and it got easier to make time for each other. However, things would still never be the same. We all try to facetime and text every few days to catch up. Sometimes though, we still go a few weeks without talking to each other when life gets in the way.

Over Christmas break, one of my best friends broke down crying to my other friends and I after a night out, claiming “things aren’t like they used to be” and asking how we can call each other best friends when we don’t talk everyday anymore.

She wanted our friendships to be exactly like they were when we were in high school, where we talked and hung out every day. I realized then that she was right regarding the former, things were different. However, maybe things being different isn’t such a bad thing.

We are all growing up and that means things and people in our life are bound to change. Change is important and healthy. Without change, how are people supposed to grow? I’ve learned to accept that our friendships have changed and probably will continue to change, but that also doesn’t mean we cannot still be best friends.

I think our term “best friends” has just evolved. We appreciate each other for different reasons now. It’s not the daily cafeteria lunch drama, but more mature conversations about our fears and goals and dreams.

No matter how many days we go without talking, if one of them calls at 4 a.m., I will answer. I will be there to listen to them vent about the same boy over and over again. And when we all reunite over breaks, it does feel like we can pick up where we left off. We all still sit in Dunkin Donuts and laugh, while stuffing our faces with donuts and hash browns and coffee we should not drink at 11 p.m.

Sometimes it does get tough to maintain friendships with people you do not get to see every day anymore, but it is more than possible. Your real friends will be there for you no matter what, will tell you what you need to hear even if you don’t want to hear it, will keep your secrets, and will be loyal to you regardless of the miles that lay between you. I have lost quite a few from high school, but I know the ones who have always mattered the most are still here.

I’ve learned that while things have changed between us all, they will always be my best friends.

3 thoughts on “Who says high school friends won’t last?

  1. Hey Cheyenne, this is one of the most relatable blog posts I’ve read so far. My four best friends and I split from high school and are studying in several different cities in several different countries. It’s like having four long distance relationships at the same time! My friends and I also thought this winter break was THE time to recognize our different paths that we’ve grown into. You’re right, we’re all learning to appreciate our friends for different reasons. Girl friends, real girl friends, will be there for you through everything, even if you don’t talk to each other everyday. I think it’s safe to say most girls in college experience something similar. We all grow apart, despite our promises and desire to be the same. I guess it’s all part of this “adulting” process. But at least we’ll always have those friends who never left our sides.
    Thanks for such a comforting blog post. Have a great spring break!

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  2. Cheyenne, I love this post! It’s so relatable and really just resonated with me. I think that all of the points you’ve made are absolutely on point. I’ve had the same sort of situation happen to me, too, with my own friends from home. It’s definitely difficult and not so fun at first, but I agree with you that change and growth are both super important in any type of relationship, especially at our age. The thing is, too, is that best friends don’t have to talk every day to be best friends. It all comes down to knowing that you’re all there for one another and thinking about each other even when you can’t talk so much. I’m the same way with my friends at home, and I used to feel a bit weird about not being in such constant contact anymore. I think I’m at the same point as you, though, as I’ve learned that time and distance can’t put a hold on any truly good friendship. 🙂

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  3. UGH this is so relatable and reminds me of me and my best friends. The five of use went off to study different things in different cities and it was definitely really hard for us to maintain the same friendship we had in high school. Over winter break, I was the one who got all sappy and sad (so extra) and cried that things were different, but you’re right, it’s a fact of life! I appreciate them all for different things than I would have 3 or 4 years ago, and can honestly say I’ve come to love them even more because of it. I know exactly who to go to for fashion advice, boy advice, school advice, or just to talk. I’m more invested in them being successful independent women and try to give them real life advice whenever possible. Every time we’re home, our families know we’ll be attached at the hip, and anytime any of them ever need me, near or far, day or night, they know I’ll answer a FaceTime call.

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