Almost two years ago, when my friends and I were finally getting ready to go our separate ways off to college, we hugged and promised each other nothing would change.
We were wrong; everything changed.
We all got so busy so fast, becoming involved in different activities at our schools that our small hometown could never offer us. The work became harder and more time consuming. While we weren’t forgetting about our friends back home, we were all frantically trying to make new ones at school to ensure a good four years at college. We all had to try and figure out how to balance a social life, school work, clubs and activities, while also sleeping a few hours at night.
Eventually, it caught up with us and it became harder to make time for each other to talk and catch up. As time went on, we adjusted to our new lives and it got easier to make time for each other. However, things would still never be the same. We all try to facetime and text every few days to catch up. Sometimes though, we still go a few weeks without talking to each other when life gets in the way.
Over Christmas break, one of my best friends broke down crying to my other friends and I after a night out, claiming “things aren’t like they used to be” and asking how we can call each other best friends when we don’t talk everyday anymore.
She wanted our friendships to be exactly like they were when we were in high school, where we talked and hung out every day. I realized then that she was right regarding the former, things were different. However, maybe things being different isn’t such a bad thing.
We are all growing up and that means things and people in our life are bound to change. Change is important and healthy. Without change, how are people supposed to grow? I’ve learned to accept that our friendships have changed and probably will continue to change, but that also doesn’t mean we cannot still be best friends.
I think our term “best friends” has just evolved. We appreciate each other for different reasons now. It’s not the daily cafeteria lunch drama, but more mature conversations about our fears and goals and dreams.
No matter how many days we go without talking, if one of them calls at 4 a.m., I will answer. I will be there to listen to them vent about the same boy over and over again. And when we all reunite over breaks, it does feel like we can pick up where we left off. We all still sit in Dunkin Donuts and laugh, while stuffing our faces with donuts and hash browns and coffee we should not drink at 11 p.m.
Sometimes it does get tough to maintain friendships with people you do not get to see every day anymore, but it is more than possible. Your real friends will be there for you no matter what, will tell you what you need to hear even if you don’t want to hear it, will keep your secrets, and will be loyal to you regardless of the miles that lay between you. I have lost quite a few from high school, but I know the ones who have always mattered the most are still here.
I’ve learned that while things have changed between us all, they will always be my best friends.